


We Need To Hold Back...

by lalahss



Series: fics for every ship in three houses [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Dubcon Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation (mentioned and implied), Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21816199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalahss/pseuds/lalahss
Summary: A very drunk Raphael stumbles into Ignatz's room the night after an intense battle, and Ignatz discovers his friend harbors some strong feelings towards him, mostly of the lustful sort.
Relationships: Raphael Kirsten/Ignatz Victor
Series: fics for every ship in three houses [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1569397
Comments: 5
Kudos: 43





	We Need To Hold Back...

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains some dubious consent to begin with, and I'm not sure if I'm toeing the line between M and E, but I hope you all enjoy this!

Ignatz was pulled out of his book with the sound of a thump at the door. A clumsy, awkward thump. He went to open the door, but it burst open and Ignatz’s best, bumbling friend entered in, reeking of alcohol and musk.

Raphael was drunk. That much was clear. Ignatz could see him fumbling with the knob to Ignatz’s room as he tried to shut the door. “How did you even get the door open…” Ignatz went over to the door, and shut it, locking it and turning to Raphael. “I know you were going out for a ‘celebratory’ drink, but you look beyond drunk. How much were you drinking?”

“Aaaaah…” Raphael paused, and Ignatz herded him over to his bed. “A lot?”

“At least you’re honest…” Ignatz sighed, and eyed up his friend. Raphael’s shirt was disheveled, and his pants looked slightly worse for the wear. However much of that was due to the battle they had just fought, or whatever had transgressed at the bar, Ignatz did not know.

“You’re kinda shaky, Ignatz…”

“I’m standing still.” Ignatz wasn’t certain of this fact, but the day had been hard on them both. Getting drunk was one way of coping, and repressing it was another entirely. “But here,” he replied, covering Raphael with a blanket, “warm up. I’ll stay with you.”

“Come closer…”

Ignatz wasn’t suspicious of Raphael, or at least until he sidled up to Raphael and felt a warm hand going across his shoulders. Raphael was naturally openly affectionate towards his friends, but something felt… different. More intense, more wanting. But what did Raphael want?

“You’re not gonna leave me, right?” Raphael’s eyes were warm, but betrayed a sense of terror. Ignatz shivered in response, and Raphael held him closer.

“Of course not.” Ignatz looked up at Raphael and smiled. “I’m going to stay here with you. You can stay the night if you want.”

“Good… I don’t want to be alone. Not after what happened today…”

Lorenz nearly died out there today. Leonie was attacked by a skirmish of archers and it was a wonder she made it out alive. Lysithea had been injured within an inch of her life, and if Marianne hadn’t stepped in she would’ve died. Hilda and Claude made a dangerous gambit which almost cost them their lives, and Ignatz had to finish the strong soldiers who would’ve spelled death for the Golden Deer. Raphael had been fighting alongside him, but Ignatz had hoped that Raphael wouldn’t have been exposed to the worst of the fighting.

“I won’t leave you.” Raphael was a somber drunk in the worst of times, but Ignatz could sense something else was at play. “I promise.”

Raphael turned to him, and Ignatz could feel something stirring inside his gut. “I don’t want you to get hurt. Please… next time, let me take some hits.”

“I want to keep you safe. We’re a pair, after all.”

“I know, but seeing you get hurt scares me.” Raphael’s other hand that wasn’t around Ignatz wrapped around him, and rested on his hip. “I care about you, Ignatz. I don’t want to live without you.” 

Ignatz could feel his body responding in a rather embarrassing way, but before he could react, Raphael had his lips on Ignatz’s. The hand on his hip was rubbing against him, and Ignatz was too shocked to do more than feel Raphael’s lips kiss his. Once Raphael had parted and leaned back, Ignatz frowned.

“Raphael, you deserve a nice girl once this war is over. Not me.” Ignatz’s stomach churned as he spoke, but he knew he couldn’t tell Raphael exactly how he made him feel.

“Ignatz… please…” Raphael’s voice had the slur of a drunk, but the neediness of a lover. “You’re all I want.”

“You know that can’t happen… we’re young men. We need to settle down, and have children.” Another wave of acid through his body.

“I need you, though…”

“Raphael, we can’t.”

“Remember the baths? You needed me then…”

Ignatz would be lying had he said he hadn’t thought about Raphael in an intimate way. It was one day in the baths, when they’d bathed together and Ignatz noticed Raphael’s strong build and… attractive body. He’d felt himself react with more arousal than he’d ever mustered up for anyone else, and he remembered exiting the baths, and the look Raphael had given his… engorged shaft, for want of a better euphemism. Ignatz had to go to his room and quell himself first with anger, and then his hands.

“It was lust, and it was unrealistic.”

“You were lusting though! I came by your room later, and heard you whispering my name.”

“Raphael… I can’t…”

The hand on his hip moved to his crotch, and Ignatz groaned. “You’re hard though…”

“I know…” His hand rubbed across his member, and he could feel himself getting harder. “Ah, Raphael… you’re drunk…”

“I like seeing you bathe like that…” Raphael groaned. “Fuck…”

“Mmmm… don’t say things like that, Raphael…” Ignatz could feel Raphael tracing the outline of his shaft, and he involuntarily bucked into it. “We’re going to survive the war, and we’ll meet girls. We’ll get married, and we’ll see each other plenty… aah…”

“After today, I’m scared. What if Leonie can’t fend off the archers? What if Lorenz took another hit? What if you were hit by that axe that nearly cut your head off?”

“Mmmm…” Ignatz couldn’t formulate a response. “We can though… we’ll be training nonstop before our next battle…”

“I want you to know how much I care about you first…”

“I know… when you help me, I can see how much you care about me…” Ignatz could feel his pants getting tighter, and he groaned. “And when we fight together…”

“Let me kiss you, Ignatz.”

Ignatz nodded, and soon Raphael’s lips were on his. This time, Ignatz reciprocated Raphael’s deep kisses, and nervously ran his hand down Raphael’s front. The hand on his crotch didn’t cease, and Ignatz found himself wanting to see how hard Raphael had gotten. He nervously, as Raphael slipped his tongue into his mouth, let his hand stray below his belt, and felt a large bulge there. Raphael groaned, and Ignatz squeezed it gently. Soon Raphael’s hand was on his, giving him the tempo to stroke him to, and Ignatz felt Raphael’s hands stray down his back. He could feel it throb under his touch, and it fueled his arousal. Ignatz’s other hand tangled itself in Raphael’s hair, but as soon as Raphael deepened the kiss, Ignatz parted his lips from him, realising what he couldn’t give at that moment.

“We can’t, though. We can’t.”

“What are your limits?” Raphael looked needier than Ignatz had ever seen him look before, and Ignatz felt conflicted.

“I like this… but I’m scared of where we’re going to go.”

“As lovers, or as men?”

“Both. I mean… I’ve never been kissed before like that…”

“Leonie doesn’t count?”

“Leonie does not count. It was a cute little peck, and we both agreed we were better off friends afterwards. This…” Ignatz sighed.

“Did you like it?”

“I loved it… but I feel like I need you, and I… we need to be…”

“After the war?” Raphael looked at him pleadingly.

“Once we’ve survived. Once we’ve made it through. When you kiss me like that… I want to do things to you. Things that would hurt me to do with anyone else, especially if you died.”

“Iggy…” Raphael frowned. “I’m sorry.” He had the rosy cheeks of a drunk, but the sincerity in his eyes was real. “I want to touch you, and I want to undress you slowly…”

“I know, and I… I want it so badly… but I can’t stand knowing that if you died I wouldn’t be able to feel you again.” Ignatz shuffled closer to Raphael. “The war will be over soon, I imagine, but… I feel a lot of things right now.”

“And what do you feel as lovers?” Raphael was giving him puppy dog eyes, but there was something needy behind it. A need for validation? A need for sex? A need for the intimacy only he could provide?

“I… I want you to touch me here again… and do to me what I did to myself when I left the baths that day…” Raphael’s body perked up, but Ignatz continued, “and I can’t say yes to that right now. But I need you in the future… man or not…”

“Do you want anything right now?”

“I know you need a release Raphael, but I can’t give it to you. I…” He felt breathless, and moved next to Raphael and laid his head on his shoulder. “I can sleep next to you tonight, and you can hold me like you would a lover, but I can’t sleep with you tonight.”

“Ig…” Raphael leaned down to kiss Ignatz’s forehead, and Ignatz pressed his head against Raphael’s chest.

“I know Raphael, but if you died, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I can’t… not right now.”

“Would it be rude if I… finished myself off, and then came back? Just to sleep, not to kiss…” Raphael’s breathy drunken voice drifted off, and Ignatz smiled.

“It wouldn’t. It’d be rude to continue though.”

“Ig, thanks.”

“It’s okay.” He moved himself away from Raphael. “Come back soon, okay? I’ll get you some sleep shorts.”

“Is that all I’ll be wearing?” The tent in Raphael’s pants seemed to throb.

“I’ll be wearing a shirt and shorts…” Raphael’s lids seemed to lower, and Ignatz clarified, “I did say you could hold me like a lover.”

“You like me?”

“I do.” Ignatz blushed. “I like you a lot, Raphael.”

“Do you mind if I think about you when I…” He motioned to his bulge.

“I don’t mind. Just… wait for when I’m ready, okay?”

“Yeah, of course.” Raphael stood up and stumbled out, shutting the door properly, a bit more sober after their conversation. Ignatz quickly took off his shirt and pants, and noticed the tent in his small-clothes. Grabbing the oil off his table, he blushed as he hoped he’d be able to finish before Raphael got back, lest he realise just how much lust Ignatz would be holding onto before the end of the war. At the first stroke, he could feel his arousal rising as he whispered to himself, “Raphael…”

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys enjoyed this, I am attempting to write fics for "every pairing" in FE3H in case you're interested! I'm aware this is a potentially futile endeavor, but I'd at least like to try! Also, kudos and comments appreciated (hehe!)


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